Zeitgeist
by artistwithouttalent
Summary: Ember McLain declares war on a beloved drama series to take back her catchphrase. Very much a crack fic; please advise.
Zeitgeist, a _Danny Phantom_ / _Breaking Bad_ pseudo-crossover

 _Note: The following is a work of amateur/fan fiction. This work is not done for profit. I hold no rights to any property referenced within. Danny Phantom is owned by Nickelodeon/Viacom and Butch Hartman. Breaking Bad is owned by Vince Gilligan and AMC._

Chapter 1: Repossessed Memories

The teal specter plucked her guitar feebly.

"Ugh!" she shouted as she threw her beloved axe into a corner.

Ember McLain got up from her incorporeal bed and looked around at the walls. As a facsimile of her human bedroom, there were posters of groups like KISS and AC/DC staring back at her. Her window occupied its familiar spot to the left, staring out at an inky black and purple landscape. She looked down at the floorboards, still translucent, and outlined in that same bright green as everything else in the Ghost Zone.

"I wonder if Dee's weed is still under the loose board," she thought, laughing inside. "That would probably make this easier." She floated over to the former location of the suspect interior trim, but found it to be solid. "Figures," she muttered.

Ember had tried in vain to write new material ever since she and hundreds of other ghosts had used their powers to save the earth from an asteroid. That event was the most public exposure that she'd had since she'd run afoul of _dipstick_ , and her manager implored her to, "strike while the iron's hot."

It was also four years ago.

Sighing, she floated over to her computer and booted it up (having Technus as a neighbor has its upsides.)

"Maybe I need a different kind of inspiration," she thought. It took her a while to get online, piggybacking from sources outside the ghost zone, but eventually she got to Ghoul. As she typed in the title of her big hit, "Remember," the search engine helpfully included the rest of the chorus in its search suggestions. After waiting another eternity for the search, "remember my name" to return any results, Ember scrolled through the page, searching for a video of the song. What she found instead were pages and pages of results related to something called "metastasis"; the first results related to her song would require another nine eternities of sifting through posters and line art and waiting for the page to load.

"What the heck is this thing," she asked, "AND WHY IS IT BLOCKING MY SONG!?" With the ferocious wrath of the scorned, Ember clicked back to the first page and jabbed her mouse towards a video by some entertainment industry bimbo journalists. She tried composing some more while the video loaded, finally playing it after more than an hour.

"Audiences and critics alike eagerly anticipate what creator Andrew Bais insists is the final season of _Metastasis_." announced Fairy Hart "The innovative drama has taken the world by storm over the last five seasons." The camera cut to someone apparently named Walter White, subtitled, "Bryan Cranston/Schrodinger".

"Yeah, it's definitely a bittersweet moment," he said, before a ridiculous edit reminiscent of a camera flash cut to a later portion of the interview. "I'll miss the show," Walter said, "and I'll miss Jesse, but I won't miss the shooting schedule," he said and chuckled. Fairy cut back in.

"Walt spoke well of his costar, the fabulous Jesse Pinkman, who plays Aaron on the show." The stupid edit appeared again, cutting to a man in his late 20s, early 30s.

"Not bad," Ember said, taking in the actor who, according to the subtitle, played Aaron Paul.

"Yeah, it's been great, getting to work with Walter and Saul, they're both great," he said, and again Ember was assaulted by the edit.

"This show has just been a huge foot in the door for me," Jesse continued, before the announcer's narration cut in again.

"Walter White, who many still remember from his tenure as the aloof father on, 'Muniz in the Middle,' had similar things to say," and once again the edit reared its head.

"I feel this show has been a phenomenal opportunity for me," he said. "It's granted me range beyond your standard comedy."

"Creator Andrew Bais has faced both praise and criticism over what many are calling his master work," the announcer said as the video cut to a bespectacled, bearded man in his 50s.

"Y'know, a lot of people have credited me as this brilliant writer, not knowing about _Rompiendo Mal_ , and then a lot of other people have yelled at me for ripping that off, not knowing that I _was_ adapting it."

"Bais had no idea of the success that would follow when he adapted a cult telenovela," the announcer cut in, before the blinding edit returned and cut back to the writer.

"I mean, I wasn't trying to hide it; their character is Aaron _Sturtevant_ , ours is Aaron _Paul_."

"The hit TV show begins airing its final episodes in August," Fairy Hart finished.

Ember stared for a moment, unable to process what she had just seen.

"My song has been forgotten for a TV show?" she asked of no one in particular. Slowly the rage began building, her face scrunching and contorting and her whole form shivering with wrath.

"That. Is. IT!" Ember shouted and strummed a power chord. Her sonic assault opened a portal to the human realm, and she flew in. "Look out _Metastasis,_ Ember McLain's comin' back to make you remember HER name!"


End file.
